Today marks the end of study break. With onli 2 days from O's, our challenge is near. To others it may be an opportunity, a chance for them to prove themselves if they have not done well in PSLE. To others it may be a challenge, a threat that they will feel as they were afraid that ppl may catch up with them. Wat abut me? Sad to say, i have wasted much of this wk. Yeah went to sch, saw several teachers and study for couple of hrs. Thats it. LOLs right! Am i goin to get good results just like tat? The answer is an absolute NO! Now i could like onli try for my best. try to be confident in yourself? Hahas, that is my style.
This yr was much different from the others. Yes, although i hav taken major exam be4, it was like a different thing. PSLE, it was over be4 i know it hahas. It was like just four papers. O level u may think is like just 3-4 papers more than PSLE. For most people, their marathon starts like Midyr? Prelim? or even just a month be4 O? Even for those who starts as early as last yr or even this yr, they get to pace and study bit by bit. By the time O lv starts, they would have completed their studies. For me, a different case- Dnt. Dnt starts like 2nd wk of Term1. I can still remember that during the first wk when HOD Mr Tan brief us that we will be getting our paper soon, I was very eager for the A1. I was determined to complete my project latest by mid June and I wanted an advantage over the others becoz i would have another A1 in my pocket. However, it was no long be4 my thoughts were different. Personally, I think that Dnt was taking up just too much of my time. Or probably to say Dnt as elective is a minority in my class. erm, people were still very free while i have to finish my Dnt assignment daily till 12 plus. So, teacher added assignment- completing several ten-year-series chpt wkly. I felt that it was a sort of extra burden and i admit i copied some of the chpt. There was just not enuf time. Teacher being teacher will have to push me so that we can do our maximum. So dnt was nv a wonderful subject i have ever taken. Dnt meant burden, time-consuming and the worst part is that during my lower sec my dnt lesson did not teach me anything! No concept, no coursework parts! Syllabus change? I remember there was a time i was so depressed that i once thought i needed COUNSELLING!!!!! Lost my dream, lost my motivation and lost interest in sch life! TATS how bad i became. Midyr, Flung most of my subject. People start early for mid yr, i had to complete everyting within 2 wks. How is tat possible for me? Perhaps i shuld say tat i m a slow learner, 2 wks is just not enuf for me. For Dnt, it was like last lap after last lap. There seemed to be no ending. From end of June to 2nd wk of July .....all the way to end of july ...den to the NATIONAL DATELINE. It was like wth! False hope! It's like having an A1 in dnt and throwing away all the others potential A1. Blog abut it for maybe a couple of time, and after so long i have overcomed it. But, I have lost my passion , the willingness to succeed, the determination to work hard for my goals. I HAVE LOST MY DREAM! 9 pointer! Tat was the dream i have brought from Sec 3 to Sec4. One would say since u have overcomed it, u should have regained the confidence, the passion.
But can one erased the harm done to me? It is too late? It is like just be4 or after prelim be4 everthing seemed to change? Teacher starts to motivate u, say wat like u follow the pace u taking now will succeed one...... After so much lecture & 'demotivation' N u tell me that i cant succeed? The pace i was going at start of the yr was unacceptable and the slacker and the heck-care attitude just be4 prelim, u tell me i will succeed with this pace. Bullshit! A bit just too late! Maybe it will serve as a good method to make those not hardworking ones work harder. But for me? isnt that unfair? I was doing my job, I tried my best to do. But u told me it was crap, rubbish. Isn't it a bit too overboard? It wasnt tat i did not try my best at start, i just couldn't get any idea at the start! GOOD IDEA dun come so often! If there are tons of good idea in my brain, i would not have been in this sch! I WOULD BE LIKE BECOMING THE WORLD's MOST FAMOUS INVENTOR! I tried, yet u were complaining and complaining. IF everything was so easy, everybody would have been a 9 pointers in O LV. Every work i handed up, u said it was not up to stAndard , it was without effort. So if it was without effort, i would not have done it even be4 my other hw, i would not have done it till 12 O'clock! I needed help, i tried to approach but wat is ur comments? "u r from 4/5 u know, u shuld know the answer?" Isn't tat crap? Once, twice..... After so much attempt, i knew tat asking u was like trying to giv u another chance to humilate me! So was it everything my fault? IT takes 2 hands to clap lah dey. I was not like trying to blame u for any results that i may be getting next yr. Injustice was wat i was feeling. Dont u think so? Dont u think tat it was a bit overboard when it comes to my work? I nv hated a subject so much. I think it would be in my memory for long. For me, i always think without coursework how far i would soar by now? IT had been certainly a wrong choice to choose Dnt, even if next yr i got an A1. Torture, Nightmare will be what i have in mind for the subject.

Good luk for all taking the O's.=) Wish everyone a wonderful time taking O level examinations =)=)