ok I super super emo and sian.. self imposing too much negativity into myself.. A new transition in my life from. foundation term to professional term in armour.. weekiat, sarsi went infantry, Kennis mp, long huai signal. suddenly feel super super lonely to b in armour. gotta to ice break again. heard training gonna b tough.. been super down since yesterday, dun even feel like gg out of house. Reali not feeling like myself, the planning for ninja p3 gathering fked up till max .. wasnt really in a good mood even though its been quite some time
since i met up wif the rest.wanting to find someone to talk to seems so hard So scared that my buddies find me weak.. so scared that some one telling me that their vocation is fking good. so scared that ppl tink that I'm overly emotional overly weird...
feeling distant from most of my good frenz, army taking up too much of my time and their time.
always had the fear that I'm no longer remembered by ppl I'm close to, no long close to all the frenz tat I know. There nvr b a everlasting banquet. n my greatest fear is to become acquaintance with my close ones. hated to be lonely, hated to b for forgotten. Will anyone remember me as close frenz? will anyone randomly find me out for movie? for lunch? for mahjong ? for anything ? will thr anybody who remember some one so low profile like me for life ?? will some one step into my life and tell me that you want me in ur life ?
remembered that I read somewher that sad emotions only last 6 mins and the rest are self imposed. just can't helped with imposing all e negativity and emotions into myself.
been trying too hard to keep ppl on my life. not close to pri buddies, Kenneth, Albert wenxin weixiang Isaac anymore . not close with KeYuan noble Afiqah yanhan anymore. not close with weidong nicholas anymore. meeting lesser n lesser wif Chris, zhaowei, aikhin zen Edmund. meeting lesser and lesser with zhenjie Samuel junpoh jasper koklin. and now it's gonna bee same with Kennis weekiat longhuai and Sarsi. miss the times whr meeting up with mike hk kangjing kongjian Victoria Louis Nicholas for impromptu supper . miss Edmund aikhin zen for hardcore mahjonging . miss the pre-army mahjong and make fun session with Shaun hussain zengni. miss the gym session with Chris weidon and Shaun. miss e time spent at ninja section2 . miss the time traveling oversea with my family. miss e time spent with malysia grandparents during cny. miss my cousins at australia . miss time spent in charlie company platoon1 bunk3. nidd the good old yet short time falling in love with a collegue of mine some years back and realizing that I'm still like her so much before I enlisted on 6june2012.
realli can't take it anybody. took fking long to type this post. and I'm losing the fking mood to continue this glossy post. the more i type the more emo I get... really hate mysel for being so emo